Use small moments to bring light to the darkness.
During the pandemic, many women caregivers who have in the past successfully balanced work and family are now facing much more pressure than normal. When you have a track record of success you are vulnerable to fears of falling short of your own and others’ expectations.
The winter holidays, with emphasis on putting aside work in favor of family gatherings to reinforce connection, mutual love, and appreciation, can quickly become a source of significant stress. To manage your time, expectations, and wellbeing, use these ideas below to bring hopefulness and light back into your life during the upcoming holidays, and go into the new year open to new possibilities.
Select the holiday traditions with the most meaning for you and your care partner. This year especially when circumstances demand scaling back, is the perfect time to reduce the burden of preparations and elevated expectations. Making the most out of less can be a creative and rewarding challenge. You can choose to savor each selected tradition without needing more. Share your decisions with extended family and friends. Assure them your choices are made out of a need for self-care.
Look for the beauty in your surroundings. Dress appropriately for the weather and go outside. Frail elders may need a sheltered outdoor area to share the experience. Listen to the sounds of the morning. Notice the birds and animals who are your winter companions. Make collections out of the signs of the season to bring indoors. Acorns, unusual twigs, and greenery make a small pleasure of bringing nature indoors. Actions like these are uplifting and a reminder of the constant renewal in the natural world.
Accept the changes to plans and goals over the year. The world has been on a learning curve in handling the pandemic. You’re not alone in the struggle to cope in healthy ways. You and your care partner have gotten to this point together, possibly by asking for help for the first time. Use this year’s adaptations to fuel your gratitude for any help you’ve received and the personal resilience you’ve found.
Give back any way you can to the local resources that have helped so many this year. Care extends from our homes to friendship circles and to our communities. Essential workers have kept us going; many had to shortchange their own families. Others have suffered or made sacrifices, including you. Simple kindnesses can make a big difference in anyone’s day.
Light up the night on the shortest day. There have been losses this year. Maybe you lost family, friends, plans, and opportunities. You may have missed deadlines and been unable to follow through to meet goals. You’ve also gained. You’ve gained insight into what you value and how to make life meaningful. So whether you gather around a fire pit, light a candle at the table or string lights in the front windows, share the warm spirit of the season and look ahead to the new year with hope.