Writing For Grief’s Sake: The Resilient Caregiver Caring and Coping Well came about out of my own desire to better understand my aging parents and the role I found myself in as their adult child. Hyper-focused though I was on raising my young child, due to the geographical distance between us I was at the same time very conscious of how my parents were evolving into older adults. As they aged I witnessed their changes and looked for ways I could help. The task was complicated by the distance and the limited frequency of our visits made the changes more noticeable than they might have been with more time spent together. As time passed, I often returned home more concerned rather than reassured by how they were managing their health and wellness.
Drawing on my professional life, I recognized much of my early study of developmental psychology, in tandem with professional research of the time, was focused on understanding how children grew into adults. Little attention was placed on developments of the adult life experience. Theory had to catch up with reality and I needed to expand my knowledge base.
Late twentieth century society experienced changes in population growth, economic shifts, and educational opportunities. Psychological research had been shifting attention onto identifying key tasks of individuals in adulthood and older adulthood. Individual motivations and goals were seen as necessary to optimise individual growth and fulfillment. How did these needs of the individual compete with the needs of family groups and society? Phrases like “mid-life crisis,” “the mommy wars,” and “the stress response,” became common knowledge due to media depictions of tension within families over the roles of women and men in the family.
Family dynamics are on display in and out of the counseling office. When I noticed changes in my parents’ behavior and communications, I recognized similar issues in clients and family. That’s when I shifted my attention on to emerging research on healthy aging. Studying intergenerational dynamics, the role of generational trauma and the impact of societal changes on family groups were all part of my desire to better care for my family and my clients. Older adult populations were in need of services that redefined “the retirement years” to support healthy relationships, renew their purpose for living, and address their health concerns. Outreach services and supportive activities arose in recognition of these needs at the community level. Now, advocacy for awareness of older adult caregiving issues encourages re-envisioning effective responses.
In our twenty-first century accelerating societal changes reflect technology impacting economic patterns, information, and life expectancy. Today the use of telemedicine and remote symptom monitoring technology are re-shaping our healthcare interactions. These changes in accessibility can have a positive impact on the health and safety of our families.
Previous generations had similar hopes to achieve this outcome.Technology has increased our capacity for positive change, so long as we remain cognizant of the financial, physical, and emotional toll the effort to respond to changes requires. Families need support and guidance for the task of filtering through the many systems of older adult care management to identify what best suits the needs of combined generational care. Simultaneous to management and decision making are the emotional responses to witnessing changes in the health and behavior of our loved ones. Awareness of family caregiving needs primarily acknowledged through organizations focused on illnesses prevalent in older populations is today enlarged by activist and policy-making caregiver organizations.
Here and now caregivers need our support and guidance while we continue making positive change for the future.